4 Words That Keep You Small

Do any of these phrases sound familiar?

“I can’t find time to…”

“I really should get to bed earlier/exercise more/eat better.”

“I’ll try.”

“I never get anywhere on time.”

Those four words: “can’t,” “should,” “try,” and “never” may be keeping you from the successes you want. Each of these words creates a mental limitation.

• You can but you don’t or won’t, so you feel bad about yourself.
• You should… but you’re not, so you feel bad about yourself.
• You’ll try, but either you haven’t made a commitment or you lack some confidence, and maybe you end up feeling bad about yourself if you don’t manage to fulfill your intention.
• You never…, so why believe change is possible. Yes, you probably end up feeling bad about yourself.

All of these words make you feel bad about yourself, so stop using them and start being honest with yourself and others.

• It is OK to say that you are not interested in doing something, or that you need help to accomplish something. There are very few things a person cannot do if they have the interest, tools, and support.
• “Should” is a matter of other people’s opinion. If those things are in alignment with your perspective, you’ll do them. If not, then they are not of your concern.
• When you try, you open the door in your brain to fail. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.” You don’t need to try, you just need to find the way that works for you.
• Just because you never have does not mean that you never will. You could accidentally show up on time – you’ve just debunked your never. The phrase “never say never” is valuable because you really do not know what’s to come.

It is easy to fall into limiting language – it’s all around us. When you catch yourself, stop. Even if you’re in the middle of a sentence. Even if you are only talking or thinking to yourself. Stop, rephrase, move forward.

-Sydney Metrick