Two Steps Forward and One Step Back
Everyone wants changes to be quick and easy. We also want the positive changes to last. Creating change means creating new habits and routines. When we do that we are actually changing our brains, making new connections that, over time, will become comfortable.
The thing is, creating the changes requires a process that is often uncomfortable. Consider going to the orthodontist to get teeth straightened. I had to wear braces on my teeth for over a year, and go back regularly during that time to get the braces gradually and painfully tightened. Once my teeth were straight and beautiful I had a moment to rejoice before learning I'd have to wear a retainer for another year or more just to make sure my newly ordered teeth didn't begin to drift back to the way they'd been for years.
When you set a goal to develop a new habit give yourself time to succeed. We sometimes forget, or don't work with the new behavior long enough for it to stick. If you "mess up" that doesn't mean you need to give up.
Mike Macedonio, President of the Referral Institute, uses the metaphor of bicycling uphill. Once you have momentum, stopping at an intersection means starting up again feels like starting from scratch.
People with attention deficit disorder benefit from developing routines. Impatience might make you feel like giving up too soon. Just remember, two steps forward and one step back, and keep on trekking.
Making Time for Fun
Guest blogger, professional organizer Dana Arkinzadeh shares some great ideas. Check it out.
Getting organized is all well-and-good, but there needs to be a reward for all your efforts. Remembering that the point of being organized is to have a rich life created with intention. Don’t forget to set aside time to enjoy that life you are creating! Should you delay your reward until all the work is done? We think not!
How do you make time for fun in your life? Do you always feel like you’re “taking care of business?” Try these tips to keep clutter at bay while leaving space and time for enjoyment.
Use a ten-minute timer to track your organizing sessions
Give yourself rewards for time spent “being productive”
Commit to a friend or colleague that you’ll limit the time you are working on your home improvement campaign
Schedule events, buy tickets, make dates – to create a balance of work and play
Block out a regular times each week to work your organizing projects
Make a game out of the organizing process. The FlyLady.net recommends a regular session of the 27-fling boogie. During this session you flit around the house, finding 27 things that can be jettisoned…put them aside in a box to bring to donation and then you’re done!
Structuring your organizing time can help you stay motivated and make progress you can see.
And, when you’re out, having fun, enjoying the view from the top of the Ferris wheel, you’ll get a perspective on your life that will enrich you.
What do you do to balance work and play in your life?
Dana Arkinzadeh, DMA Organizing helps people go from clutter to clarity. Her weekly blog is Notes From The Junk Drawer.
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time, not that long ago, in a land not that far away, lived a woman – or maybe it was a man – who was experiencing a deep sense of overwhelm. She (or was it he?) had said “yes” too many times, to too many things and her dwelling felt crowded and confused. She often missed appointments, had unfinished projects, and no time for things she felt were important. One morning, she looked around and realized something had to change. She just couldn’t live that way any longer.
The woman recognized that if she knew what to do she would have already done it. Finding the right help would be crucial. She sought a guide to take her through the dark forest of doubt, confusion, and shame and lead her to a life of balance, order, and ease.
Suddenly out of the mist (or was it Yelp?) appeared two qualified and genial women. They introduced themselves as Sydney and Dana – a dynamic duo committed to guiding people to reclaim their time and space. First they helped her define her vision for her home and life. Dana worked with her to banish the clutter and create systems and homes for her necessities and treasures. Sydney supported her in conquering her calendar. She learned to identify and commit to priorities, and have home maintenance be one part of a regular routine.
With Sydney’s and Dana’s help she had taken a journey that had at first seemed terrifying. Her fears had been unfounded. With their skill and unconditional support she’d had a light through the dark forest. She fulfilled the purpose her journey, developed a different sense of herself, and came to realize that she is a very capable person who could design her life. She also trusts the allies will always be there to bolster her should doubts or challenges arise.
Sydney Metrick, PhD
Sydney provides unwavering support, enthusiastic encouragement, and practical tools and resources for people with ADHD and other non-linear thinkers. She works with clients to target their most challenging areas, helping them develop strategies and habits that get results.
http://www.ArtfulCoaching.com 510 223 3882, Sydney@ArtfulCoaching.com
Dana Arkinzadeh, DMA Organizing
Dana helps people go from clutter to clarity. She creates organizing solutions to fit an individual’s unique lifestyle and personality. She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers.
http://www.dmaorganizing.com, 510-206-4812, mailto:info@dmaorganizing.com
Eliminate Holiday Stress
Earlier this month I was a guest of The Gertonson Institute discussing how to ELIMINATE Holiday Stress & Start the New Year Right!. Here is a link to the program. I hope you find it useful. PROGRAM LINK
Top Ten Tips for the Surviving the Holiday Season
1. Less is more—overwhelm often follow a sense of obligation. I remember the first time I went to a buffet restaurant and wondered how I could eat all those things. It took me a while to realize I could just choose what I really wanted, would enjoy, and feel good about.
2. Due date versus start date—got to buy gifts, send out cards? You may be oh too familiar with last minute shopping or mailing. Think instead of a “start date.” Look at your calendar and choose some times when you won’t be rushed.
3. Cookies anyone?—Christmas cookies, cakes and pies are everywhere. Neighbors visit with plates of fudge, dinners with friends end with pies and cakes, office mates bring special family recipes loaded with calories. If you just can’t resist, freeze. Put the best offerings into a container and have one or two pieces randomly over the next few months.
4. Forget about the “perfect gift”—Just having general knowledge about someone’s like can be enough to figure out the perfect “gift card.” No need to hire a detective to discover what kind of imported coffee a friend drinks when a Peets gift card lets them choose whatever they want.
5. Listen to your body—This is the time of year when days are short and nights are long. If we were in harmony with nature, we’d be doing winding down rather than ramping up. Feeling like going to bed early?
6. Delegate—if someone asks if they can lend a hand, by all means say yes. Otherwise, ask for help when you need it.
7. Stick with habits and routines—if you have them, do your best to stick with them. Getting off track is only a problem if you don’t have a strategy to get back to what works for you. Figure out a plan in advance, just in case.
8. Plan quiet time—wherever you go, there you are. So decide where you want to be. Who do you want to sit near at a dinner? Is there a place to escape and regroup during a party? How much down time do you need after a demanding activity
9. Prioritize—decide on the people and things that are most important. That’s what you want to make sure you focus on.
10. Plan activities for kids and guests in advance—people may want or require attention you don’t have to give. Make, or have them help you with an “activity book” or list of ideas that will help them, and you, have fun.
Habits--Good or Bad?
Yes! Habits can be good or bad. The ideal is to replace "bad" habits with behaviors that work for you.
So here's the process: first you have to identify the behavior you want. Let's say exercise for 30 minutes every morning. Next you have to look at your schedule; you do use a calendar to design your days, right? Choose a realistic time you are likely to be successful actually exercising for the desired time. Now you have to come up with a reminder. It's only a habit when you can do it regularly without it being an ordeal. Sometimes having a workout partner, a personal trainer, or a coach to hold you accountable can help with this step.
Growth occurs two steps forward and one step back. If you must miss, or forget, reschedule. Remember why you want to get regular exercise. How will you be better when exercise is an ongoing part of your life?
Stopping Time
Does this ever happen to you? It's time to leave the house for an appointment. Just as you are ready to leave you remember something you wanted to do. Fearing you might
forget later, or just having that task calling out for attention, you turn back to take care of it. Something in your brain makes you feel like the clock is frozen while you're back taking care of that task (and maybe even another one or two). Then you're surprised that you end up being late.
It helps to have lots of clocks. Have a clock in every room. Look at them frequently. If something is important and you aren't certain you'll remember, write a note or send yourself a text or voice mail. Be sure to put those notes where you're sure to see them.